First Love~

Love? I've felt it before for the first time when i was in Matriculation programme, 18 years old i guess. However the love wasn't returned. In fact he even forgotten me. Don't even remember my name. I was so sad and hurt. In my 27 years of life I never had any relationship with anyone. Firstly cuz i was raised by a strict family. I can't be friend with boys or talk with them and I was only allowed to have one after I have graduated.

I graduated, I don't know how to talk with guys, I mean how to flirt or anything. Don't even talk or walk or act all girly like others can. So they all treat me like some kind of boy or kid. I don't like wear dress and all. Blegh...

Until I played audi last year, then i started to have relationship with ppl in there. All my ex bfs are Japanese. I hurt so much. First time ever i cried for a guy. Then I got a crush on some guy from that game. A very nice guy. I confessed to him one day he rejected me nicely. Now me and him are still friends.

I played AudiSEA. Then I met quite a few nice ppl. One of them is Omelette. I got a crush on him after that. However i found out he's a married guy with a 2 yr old son. But recently he keep on flirting me. I like him a lot! And yet he still doing it. OMG! Yesterday is the happiest day of my life. He called me dear and he treat me nicely. He always be there for me wenever i needed someone. Now he is my baby and the Omelette I deeply love in the internet! ^w^! I LOVE YOU OMELETTE BABY~!

Everything's gonna be alright~

Still not ok... but i know it's gonna be one day... anyway from today onward im going to get thru everything myself! I know i can do it even tho its hard. Poems... I love you but you're so hard to reach. Almost impossible for me since you're not available anymore hahaha. I think i need other game to play. Play back PKO? hmmm... i'll think what's to play later... haizz...

For the lonely again...

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely

Sometimes I think
I wished on the wrong star
Cuz I always seem so far
From the one that I dream of
It’s hard to wait for love
But I'll make it on my own
Cuz I'm learning to be strong
But it’s never easy standing all alone

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

At night I cry
But no one's by my side
My tears they go unheard
For I look for the words
To ease my heart
For now I'll sing this prayer
That somehow, some day, somewhere
I will turn around and find love standing there

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky

All my tears they go unheard
Cuz no one's by my side
It's hard to be alone
It's hard to wait for love

Oh-ho,oh oh
Lonely, hey ye-a-yeah

This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way

This is for the lonely

KILLING ME DJ!

If I don’t have my songs, I don’t know what to do. I know everything’s gonna be ok sooner or later but… I feel like being used all the time. Am I meant for that since I was borned? My school life like hell cuz being used too, my work life before also the same… yah they are my friends… always be there for me. But I just felt like being used all the time. Its true… One heart does take times to mend. I don’t know. Even now why am I so easy to say yes to everything?

What I feel now? Selfish… Lonely… Craving… Empty… Waiting and waiting…

Life is Cool – Sweetbox

I never really try to be positive

I’m too damn busy being negative

So focused on what I get

And never understand what it means to live

You know we all love to just complain

But maybe we should try to rearrange

There’s always someone

Who’s got it worse than you

(chorus)My life is so cool

My life is so cool

Oh yeah

From a different point of view

(verse 2)We’re all so busy tryin’to get ahead

Got a pillow of fear when we go to bed

We’re never satisfied

The grass is greener on the other side

We're so distracted with the jealousy

Forget it’s in our hands to stop the agony

Will you ever be content

On your side of the fence?

(verse 3)Maybe you’re the guy who needs a second chance

Maybe you’re the girl who’s never asked to dance

Maybe you’re lonely soul

A single mother scared and all alone

Gotta remember we live what we choose

It’s not what you say It’s what you do

And the life you want

Is the life you have to make

If you will get married????

What the heck… STUPID SONG TITLE!! I’m so stress! Feels like wanna cry! Being teacher is sux! Yeah you can have good salary and all but my passion not in here!! I miss my old life a lot! I miss my carefree life! What to do… I’ll just go on with it. Haaiizz… Should be thankful for what I have. Yah yah… even when ur not happy just be thankful… is it? Should be happy? WTF… rubbish! Rubbish! Rubbish! Im living my life with rubbish.
Yeah I am luckier than those who doesn’t have work, those who couldn’t get being a teacher! YAH YAH! But does it count lucky when ur being forced? I was bullied since I was small… but nobody cares. I don’t have a good social life when I was small. My life is family family family! I can’t even tell my families whose my friends are! NVM… forget it… telling all this stuff also rubbish!
You may see my face filled with smiles… the truth is my heart is raining…

がらがらＧＯ！

Hi guys! It has been so long we didn't talk to each other and it makes me sad… (T__T) By the way the internet connection here blocked any Instant messaging application =p! Bleeegh!! No RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!! SMACK EM!! >=(!! Go die em!! There's no electricity here but they used generator and solar energy so we can use electricity once in a while. No telephone lines! No MAXIS! NO CELCOM! NO DIGI!! (T___________________T) I miss u guys already! So if u guys wanna noe how I'm doing now u can surf at my another blog here>>>http://hadzirah.blogspot.com

And if u guys wanna talk to me please comment on my post or EMAIL MEEEE~!! (T^T) at zirahd7@gmail.com!!! I'm dying here… NO AUDITION TOOOO!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Guys! I can't login MSN or AUDITION!!! T________T!! See you 12 more days okay!