LOLLIPOP LOLLIPOP~ xxx

Okay Ersa! Forget everything!! Forget it!! Forget it!! Don't be stupid!! Forget forget!! forget!! You can do it Ersa!! Start ur new life!! GANBATTEEE!! IKIMASUUYOOOO!! DEKIRU DAROUU?!! IKEIKEEEEEEEEEEE~!! HMPH!

~holyday~++>3<

Haiz... yah! Good Ersa! You've start you blog with a sigh... BANG HEAD!! I got alot of work to do but at last left this one final work to be done. However I feel soooo damn lazy to do it... sheesh not lazy. I just don have de mood le. I just fought with my mom bout my work... LAWLS!!... haiz... wth. I feel so stress today! Lucky we don have to send that 'ONE' assignment today! Luv you Mr Jam!

Okay... tok about frens... I think I'm ready to tok back to dyana. But not today! Stress is on the waaay~~ ugh... Hmm... Momo? Mushy? They are busy with fam. Haha! What can I do le~ ^_^;; nvm ba. I'm a little sad they are busy. All I can do is watch them from afar. I feel like wana cry saying all that. It's like I'm letting go of something so precious to me. Even though I have my didi, mei, and other friends around me... hahaha I better don't say it here... keep it to myself. Mushy you remember what I said to you last time? I told you I got something to say but I intend to keep it a secret until it's time? I feel like... We're more more and more further away... Whatever happen guys, I will always love you ^w^!

Omelete? Hahaha! I still love you baby! Nobody can take my Poems away from me! MUAHAHAHA!! Omelete less busy lately and that's goood~! hehehe! btw I'm looking forward to my holiday! YAY!! XD!! DECEMBER BABY!!

Clouds here in IPG... it relieves my stress a bit...


My lappy...

>>OmeletexOrange<< ++ Part One ++

Aww shy lee~~ nyahahaXD!! Love u Omelete baby!

~My Heaven~

Every morning is My Heaven! Morning greeting from the one you love is always the best breakfast for your heart. Prayer is the best medicine for your soul. I got all that and every morning I feel refreshed but yet so lazy~~ (>__>);;; It's near holiday already!! About a week more!! (>o<)!! My soul not here now!! Okay… Never been here from the start but it's worsen now!! AAAAAAAAA!! Stop with the classes damn it!!

Hmm… how I wish he's not married yet… not that I'm hoping he'll divorce his wife or anything… AAA BAD ME!! But how I wish that I found another guy like him! He is sooo damn perfect for me since he's kinda quiet person and I'm the opposite character of his! =p hahaha! He got a steady job, Salary is nice, plus we called each other's by names like… Omelet! Orange! Pig! Dear! Baby! Sweety! Etc. AAAAAAAAA!! Aren't we like real couples?!!! (T^T) so shaaaad~~~ but never mind… I'll go on with this until a real someone comes to me… (^w^)

I LOVE YOU OMELET BABY!!

-xxxORANGExxx-

First Love~

Love? I've felt it before for the first time when i was in Matriculation programme, 18 years old i guess. However the love wasn't returned. In fact he even forgotten me. Don't even remember my name. I was so sad and hurt. In my 27 years of life I never had any relationship with anyone. Firstly cuz i was raised by a strict family. I can't be friend with boys or talk with them and I was only allowed to have one after I have graduated.

I graduated, I don't know how to talk with guys, I mean how to flirt or anything. Don't even talk or walk or act all girly like others can. So they all treat me like some kind of boy or kid. I don't like wear dress and all. Blegh...

Until I played audi last year, then i started to have relationship with ppl in there. All my ex bfs are Japanese. I hurt so much. First time ever i cried for a guy. Then I got a crush on some guy from that game. A very nice guy. I confessed to him one day he rejected me nicely. Now me and him are still friends.

I played AudiSEA. Then I met quite a few nice ppl. One of them is Omelette. I got a crush on him after that. However i found out he's a married guy with a 2 yr old son. But recently he keep on flirting me. I like him a lot! And yet he still doing it. OMG! Yesterday is the happiest day of my life. He called me dear and he treat me nicely. He always be there for me wenever i needed someone. Now he is my baby and the Omelette I deeply love in the internet! ^w^! I LOVE YOU OMELETTE BABY~!

Everything's gonna be alright~

Still not ok... but i know it's gonna be one day... anyway from today onward im going to get thru everything myself! I know i can do it even tho its hard. Poems... I love you but you're so hard to reach. Almost impossible for me since you're not available anymore hahaha. I think i need other game to play. Play back PKO? hmmm... i'll think what's to play later... haizz...

For the lonely again...

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely

Sometimes I think
I wished on the wrong star
Cuz I always seem so far
From the one that I dream of
It’s hard to wait for love
But I'll make it on my own
Cuz I'm learning to be strong
But it’s never easy standing all alone

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

At night I cry
But no one's by my side
My tears they go unheard
For I look for the words
To ease my heart
For now I'll sing this prayer
That somehow, some day, somewhere
I will turn around and find love standing there

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky

All my tears they go unheard
Cuz no one's by my side
It's hard to be alone
It's hard to wait for love

Oh-ho,oh oh
Lonely, hey ye-a-yeah

This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way
To hold on

This is for the lonely
This is for the lonely
We all live underneath the same blue sky
This is for the lonely ones tonight
I'll help you find a way

This is for the lonely

KILLING ME DJ!

If I don’t have my songs, I don’t know what to do. I know everything’s gonna be ok sooner or later but… I feel like being used all the time. Am I meant for that since I was borned? My school life like hell cuz being used too, my work life before also the same… yah they are my friends… always be there for me. But I just felt like being used all the time. Its true… One heart does take times to mend. I don’t know. Even now why am I so easy to say yes to everything?

What I feel now? Selfish… Lonely… Craving… Empty… Waiting and waiting…

Life is Cool – Sweetbox

I never really try to be positive

I’m too damn busy being negative

So focused on what I get

And never understand what it means to live

You know we all love to just complain

But maybe we should try to rearrange

There’s always someone

Who’s got it worse than you

(chorus)My life is so cool

My life is so cool

Oh yeah

From a different point of view

(verse 2)We’re all so busy tryin’to get ahead

Got a pillow of fear when we go to bed

We’re never satisfied

The grass is greener on the other side

We're so distracted with the jealousy

Forget it’s in our hands to stop the agony

Will you ever be content

On your side of the fence?

(verse 3)Maybe you’re the guy who needs a second chance

Maybe you’re the girl who’s never asked to dance

Maybe you’re lonely soul

A single mother scared and all alone

Gotta remember we live what we choose

It’s not what you say It’s what you do

And the life you want

Is the life you have to make

If you will get married????

What the heck… STUPID SONG TITLE!! I’m so stress! Feels like wanna cry! Being teacher is sux! Yeah you can have good salary and all but my passion not in here!! I miss my old life a lot! I miss my carefree life! What to do… I’ll just go on with it. Haaiizz… Should be thankful for what I have. Yah yah… even when ur not happy just be thankful… is it? Should be happy? WTF… rubbish! Rubbish! Rubbish! Im living my life with rubbish.
Yeah I am luckier than those who doesn’t have work, those who couldn’t get being a teacher! YAH YAH! But does it count lucky when ur being forced? I was bullied since I was small… but nobody cares. I don’t have a good social life when I was small. My life is family family family! I can’t even tell my families whose my friends are! NVM… forget it… telling all this stuff also rubbish!
You may see my face filled with smiles… the truth is my heart is raining…

がらがらＧＯ！

Hi guys! It has been so long we didn't talk to each other and it makes me sad… (T__T) By the way the internet connection here blocked any Instant messaging application =p! Bleeegh!! No RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!! SMACK EM!! >=(!! Go die em!! There's no electricity here but they used generator and solar energy so we can use electricity once in a while. No telephone lines! No MAXIS! NO CELCOM! NO DIGI!! (T___________________T) I miss u guys already! So if u guys wanna noe how I'm doing now u can surf at my another blog here>>>http://hadzirah.blogspot.com

And if u guys wanna talk to me please comment on my post or EMAIL MEEEE~!! (T^T) at zirahd7@gmail.com!!! I'm dying here… NO AUDITION TOOOO!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Guys! I can't login MSN or AUDITION!!! T________T!! See you 12 more days okay!

~You’re Not Alone~

My heart filled with mix feelings... am I ok? am I not? I don't even know. But what I know... it's heavy. Why? Why it doesn't feel good? hahaha... I'm crying now. Stress? maybe... tomorrow is the start of my tortures. Damn... I don't know... I just need someone to poke me from behind and say HEY! CHEER UP! ^^;; hahaha... I feel so selfish now. I couldn't do anything when they need me and when I need them I cried... LOLZ. BANG HEAAAD! hahaha! That what I always do when I emo before! Sorry mushy! I couldnt stop crying now. Listen to songs that momo gave me soothes me a little. ^w^ NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! WAKE UP STUPID MILO!! Hack care is what is you always do! What a lie... u couldn't stop care about others.

 

TODAY~~ I woke up! rubs eyes... go to lappy... see hus online... momo! say morning~! bo reply... i think he's bz that time. so ok i went audi. Cant remember much after that. I play n play n play. OMG! I forgot wat happened today! All i can rmb ooo! I played with Poems! Make me happy a bit. But he told me his sad sides. Make me go mellow again... haaiizz... he said something so nice to my ears. But it doesnt last long. I went to see Momo but he so upset with daddy and yet I want to go lalaing with him. I thought wana share with him and dau bout Poems since they noe how much i like him but hahaha! Stupid me going in. They so emo! don't have any reaction. LALALA~ ^w^;;; so i go out of audi. Listening to songs. Chatting with Z. Suddenly saw Mushy online. YAAAY!! Then we go in audi. Play a bit. Then show Mushy my new dress and Ryu new outfit! XD! Then she said to me... If i go on with Ryu... I can't find yandao leee... LOLZ! So she said break le. I duno wat to think... I just brk. Hahaha! Then she brought me play club. LOLZ! Play a few rounds, then someone pmed me... asking questions... I ask Mushy wat to do. I scare nia. Then Mushy say JYJY!! TRY TRY! so i go on gave him my msn. So there... he's ok. Not that handsome but ok. Chinese. Indonesian. Anyway... he doesn't show much interest now. Blegh. Nvm...

 

Then I play audi again. Soloing~~~ Soloiiiingg~~ Soloooiiiing~~ tot used to it. But i feel so empty... suddenly daddy mummy and dau online... i think they saw me soloooiing~~ yah ok...fine i soloooing~~ then i out of my room to check on something. Saw dem in the room. Not Fbing or tagging. So I came in. Daddy hi me. I hi back. Then not long after that daddy asked me something he SHOULDN'T ASK!! Make me so angry till now! Smack finished soloing?! I was like.... FINE! AND ANSWERED HIM THIS BACK>>> not yet! After this continue! One round play with them. Out! Soloing again! Locked room! until Darkie come and asked me not to lock room. I listened to him and create another room... Man I feel so tired... I DON'T WANT GO TO COLLEGE BACK!! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!

 

Haaa... Thanx yang yang for accompany at the last min. Thanx a bunch to Darkie and Yennz too. And thank you Mushy for helping me finding Yandao... hahaha! Thanx for the song Momo! Those songs are soothing... Thanks to z for cheering me up^^. I feel guilty for less contacting him... well he's busy with WoW anyway. What a day...

Be With You~

What a song… haaiizz~ nvm le, HAPPY HAPPY ^w^!! Already in Perlis! And I'm not happy bout it. Hates the fact I'm going back college these few days more… BLEEEGHH~~ It's 3.27 am now. Slept in the car so much makes me don wana sleep yet! NYAHAHAHA!! I just log off audi. Someone wans to cpl me for real. I said to him I HATE GUYS HU LEAVE THEIR GERS!!! And if u really wan me… try to get me! And get interviewed by my bros and sis! Then he said forget it! Bye! Guys are just de same! =p=! Pathetic! There are few hu are nice…hmmm speaking of nice guys… didi didn't online these few days… Wat happen to him?! I hope his okay!! He's not well lately… I'm so worried!

My Desktop~ I'M A RILAKKUMA FREAK!

Misc pictures!

Ai Oboetemasuka?

Hmmm… I don't feel like myself today… Don't feel like wana go hyper like usual. Somehow I feel abit lonely again. I know it's lame to have this kind of feelings. But I can't stop myself from feel like this...

I just got home from Perlis by plane. Stop at KLIA, My dad fetched me and we went home at Muar Johor. So tiring but never mind just as long as I can be at home… haizz…

my flight tix~

Just knew about Puppy's condition from Dark, I feel so down bout it. Hope he'll be fine.

~My rilakkuma~

RAAAAAAAAAAAWRRR~!

Hmm… Hmmm…. Hmm….. OEI I WAN GO HOME LAR!! @!##@%^&%^*&I*^&^(!#@!#~~~ why the heck is that lecturer still wan make class rite now?!! It's already cancelled at first place!! HELL! I need to do my stuff today since tomorrow I have to be at the airport 1 hr before 8.45!!! RAAAWR!! Die la me….=p=;;….mooou!! Kusoo!!

Yesterday nite was tiring but fun! Having Buka Puasa at my frens house! Took a lot of pictures!

LALALALA~! SOT SOT! Some of my classmates...

Oyah! My first Raya card… from Zaza! Hahahaha!

Neko Nikki~

Yaawnzz… is class now. Showing some stuff bout historical boats. Quite interesting… Lalala~ Anyway—I WAN THIS LAPPY!!!

Hahahaha! Take that MOMO!! Mushy nag you cuz she care lor! HAHAHAHAHAHA! The difference of me and her is she nag her way well I nag too but with my own way! Still!! This is how we show u that we really do care bout u!! ^w^v! Next time MOMO u must tell us a word if u emo!!! SMACK!! I bet U'll feel the same too if we're like that… ^w^

Lately I'm so tired in class… =p=;;… wana go back to hometoooowwwnn~~ buuu~~



Just came back from dinner for berbuka puasa~~

BRAND NEW WORLD LYRICS!

hashiridase hashiridase sora takaku hatakazashi

 

hatenai kono umi wo koete sagashi ni ikou yo

dare mo imada mitsukerarenai sekai no kiseki wo

takanaru mune omoi no mama tsuki susumu dakesa

yume oibito ga nokosu ashi ato wo

 

donna arashi no yoru mo kokoro hitotsu ni sureba

koete yukeru yo itsudatte

 

hashiridase hashiridase sora takaku hatakazashi

dare ni mo misenai namida mo aru keredo

oikakete oikakete yume wo sasu COMPASS wa

massugu na hitomi sa tachidomaranai

Around the world Start me up!

 

umakui kazu kabe no mae de ugokenakunatte

nanimo dekizu kuchibiru kami utsumuku shisen ni

michi ni saita hana ga tsuyoku nanairo wo egaite

iku michi wo irodotte kureru no darou

 

toki wa tomaru koto naku nagare tsuzuketerunosa

mae ni susumou sono ashi de

 

hashiridase hashiridase dare yori mo sono saki e

nige dasanakereba ashita wo tsukamerunda

oikakete oikakete me ni utsuru subete ima

masshiro na kokoro ni shirushite yukou

Brand new world Start me up!

 

tatoe kurayami no naka michi wo miushinatte mo

akiramenai de te wo nobase hikari e to

 

hashiridase hashiridase sora takaku hatakazashi

dare ni mo misenai namida mo aru keredo

oikakete oikakete yume wo sasu COMPASS wa

massugu na hitomi sa tachidomaranai

Around the world

 

hashiridase hashiridase dare yori mo sono saki e

nige dasanakereba ashita wo tsukamerunda

Brand new world

oikakete oikakete me ni utsuru subete ima

masshiro na kokoro ni shirushite yukou

Brand new world Start me up!

Brand new world Start me up!

Brand new world Start me up!

 

 

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH

 

Start running, start running

Holding up your flag high in the air

 

Crossing over

The endless ocean, let's go out in search

No one can yet find it

A miracle in the world

We just push onward

With the feeling of a pounding heart

People who follow their dreams leave footprints behind

 

No matter what kind of stormy nights we have

If our hearts are as one

We can get through them

Always

 

Start running, start running

Holding up your flag high in the air

There are tears

That we don't show to anyone

But follow, follow

The compass that points toward dreams

Has an eye that points straight ahead

We can't stand still

Around the world, start me up!

 

Things aren't going well, we're against a wall

We can't move

We can't do anything, biting our lips

We look like we're hanging our heads

A flower that blooms on the road is strong

We're going to color the road that I travel on

In a rainbow of colors

 

Time won't stand still

It just keeps on passing

So move forward with your own legs

 

Start running, start running

Up ahead, more than anyone else

If we don't run away

We can grasp ahold of tomorrow

Follow, follow

Right now, let's go and chronicle, with pure white hearts

Everything that's reflected in our eyes

Brand new world, start me up!

 

Even if we lose sight of the road

In the darkness

Don't give up

Reach out your hands toward the light

 

Start running, start running

Holding up your flag high in the air

There are tears

That we don't show to anyone

But follow, follow

The compass that points toward dreams

Has an eye that points straight ahead

We can't stand still

Around the world

 

Start running, start running

Up ahead, more than anyone else

If we don't run away

We can grasp ahold of tomorrow

Follow, follow

Right now, let's go and chronicle, with pure white hearts

Everything that's reflected in our eyes

Brand new world, start me up!

Brand new world, start me up!

Brand new world, start me up!

~Love And Joy~

[Suki na uta uta tte! Suki na hito syasyin wo mite!

If u like the song sing it! If u like the person see the picture!]

 

=Real Life?=

LOLZ… yesterday I supposed to go to my mentor's house. But I didn't go since I got a very painful tummy ache! ><;; haaaiizz… can't do anything, just lying on bed and play game. The talk session is ok. So so… somehow I got someone I don't like in my class and yesterday she did something I felt so irritating! However I never wan care bout her. She's just an eyesore! Mezawari da!!=p=;; Anyway I am too lazy to do my homework!

=AuditionSEA?=

Haaaiizzz… asking ppl to 'Mai haiz mai haiz…' isn't suited enough for me… cuz im de one hu always keep sighing… why leee… People never noe how to appreciate things… once it's gone u are sure gonna regret it then u noe how priceless it is. Why im saying like dat?! ><;; why why why?!! Haaa… Mushy… Momo… all in my life I don't hope of anything now… but for u two to be happy! U can take all the happiness I have! Just don't turn your back… and be happy!!! ^_____________________________^!

Guai? Shuai? Mei mei? Yandao?... @w@;;; (11.12 pm)

==Life is just so cool huh? NOT! For the time being…==

aAaaAaAaAaaaaaa~~~ Sleepyy~~ man I wana play so much!! But my eyes oledi sooo tired… feels like wan faint oledi! Hahaha^w^;; Hmm… What to say huh… I've been very lazy to write anything these days… got sooo many assignments I can't coupe up with! Got Bahasa Melayu, Got Coccuriculur! Netball! Got Environmental Education, Got Islamic Studies, heee……. Too stress too stress~!! Push ups push ups!! Aaaargh!! Then then tomolo gotta wake up early since 7 am must be at institute for some session with some old lecturers who wana tell us about how are their experiences in Sabah and Sarawak. Bleeghh~~ I think I need to upgrade my internet line… package 68 is quite slow and irritating… gonna upgrade it to 98. Yaaawnzzz… still sleepy… O yah... sadly... one of our classmates... got accident yesterday and he broke 3 of his left ribs... luckily he still survive. Get well soon AN!

==AUDITIONSEA==

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!! My birthday last Monday was cool!! ^w^v!! Is the best ever!! Cuz got Mushy! Momo! Mimi! Onlinee~!! Xiao mei oso!! Burger didn't online!! Crieeess… Bubbles jie and Gummy di oso!! Hahaha!! They helped me do bbq~!!>w<!! then then! What so shock was the fact that Zonda bought me a dress that I like SO MUCH!! The dress is INDEFINITE!! Falls… he sot ar? But hor really thanks to him for be there for me that nite^w^! That's the most important thing.

Aaannd MOMO n MIMI's wedding toooo~!! YAAAAAAY!! XD!! At first he so sad MIMI don wan take wedding with him. She asked daddy to take for her… I was so worried he emo like hell. v___v;;….but then he was ok back and all thanks to daddy^w^. Si daddy^w^*…LOLZ

Here are the pics:-

=^w^=